The first apology of the day

Like a snake,

I am shedding the flaky layer

of my estranged past.

 

It has hard to keep things straight-

when people press into my pain,

and say they relate to my work.

 

I forget what grievances I am still paying off

 

and I crawl on my belly

as penance to the sins of my mother

Eve.

 

Long have I suffered

the painful tear

of her teeth in the flesh of my fruit.

 

A constant echo

of guilt

swimming in my ears in the morning .

 

I carry this weight

that I did not pick up,

but had it gingerly placed in my palms.

 

My mother warned me to look before crossing the street,

but she could not have known that the things that trip me

live in a history book that I have not yet written.

 

Each morning I wake

and the sun licks my elbow

and begs for breakfast.

 

I mumble through the folds in my pillow-

 

“yes, yes I am alive-

despite my skin laying beside me.”